Ramblin'

Ramblin’

Aren’t fat filled bar burgers the best food in the world? A bun stuffed with eggs, bacon and a burger the size of every obese man in the US really does the trick for me, and they are best coming fresh out of a shanty shop in the middle of nowhere where oil runs down the walls and the floors are coated in a sticky layer of years of dirt building up creating a stratigraphy of schmuck, detergents and even more schmuck. Scraping through that would require more than a jackhammer, but that’s where the best food is made, served alongside the fattest of chips, which look more like yellow stones drizzled with black pepper and dirty salt. When it comes to chips, size does matter. In these places, plates and cutlery are simply a theory, and the chips come in a paper bag which was probably used to carry the morning groceries. The whole meal is generally placed in a card box, where oil patches create a pattern that would make cubism look like kids’ stuff. The box would be heavy, even after the meal is stuffed down your neck, as the layers of dirt give great mass to the object. A massive belch and a gassy coke (in the oldskool glass bottle please) follow the food into your mouth, and even though you probably gained enough weight to last a week, and shortened your lifespan by a few months at least, the satisfaction is immense. I’ll have another one please, Peppi

Kitted out

After being dipped into the culture of our capital city, I felt inspired to buy the Valletta City football shirt, and what an adventure that turned out to be. Matt Done, Lara and I headed to St. Julian’s to check out a sports shop, but they were fresh out of kits, so in true Matt & Mark fashion we all zoomed down to the airport to try our luck in the upstairs shop. Our plan was to ask for permission to buy from the upstairs section of the airport, near the departure gates, but we knew it was a long shot, especially after Brian, a mate of ours who works at the airport as a soldier, told us we have a zero percent chance of getting it without a boarding pass. But in the words of the great Peter Paul from Tribali we never gave up. We thought we’d give it a shot. At first the security guards scoffed at the request, however as soon as he found out I wanted a Valletta kit he was quick to offer his services and made a few calls to check the prospect out. Being Maltese, he stuck to his word, and soon had his friend running upstairs with my money to fetch my new kit. And what a kit, proud white, with enough sponsors to render the sleeves as billboards, and a fantastic fit too! After this incident I can heap further praise to the citizens of Valletta, as they truly are one of a kind. Whoever said Maltese weren’t helpful and customer service doesn’t exist, were probably 100% correct, unless you support the right football team!

What Physics?

Another incredible thing happened to me this week, when me and my mates went down to St Martins for our weekly spot of football. A fun game unfolded with lots of action, but one thing in particular stood out: if hitting the post in football is considered “unlucky” then what the hell do you say when your shot pinballs off both posts? It defies the laws of physics, and I still can’t believe my luck today!
Staying on topic, I finally began training with Swieqi United this week and took a photo of Swieqi United’s first ever goal in an 11 aside friendly match against Haq Ghaxaq. When the Orange reach the Champions League final, my pic will surely be famous, and I will be typing this on my new golden key board, or from my iphone while sitting in my jet! Best of luck to Swieqi, lets climb up the table and do my home city proud!

Two games coming up: Friday’s encounter with Mdina Knights, and Saturday’s clash with Mtarfa, in a game where I should be playing in the centre of midfield. Up the Orange!

That’s all the blabbing and rambling for this week, but I will take a second to mention Adam Done’s foundation of Chickens (I have no idea why or what he was on about really, but the guy now owes me two beers for this and skydiving!!)